No, I am not changing my name (as I should have a year ago), nor am I undergoing surgery of any kind. I just thought I would let you all know that, according to the extremely reliable phone of my sister-in-law Traci (http://runningstray.blogspot.com/), I no longer exist.
It's true. Every time she tries to type my name into her phone (for a text message or just to add me to her contacts list), the auto correct on her phone denies my existence. "Tina," obviously, is not real. No. Apparently, I am "Tuna."
I am half sister, half fish.
At first I just told Traci to tell her phone, "Har! Like I haven't heard that one before!" from me, but then I became accustomed to my fate. And also, it started to make sense. Everyone thinks I'm nutty as squirrel poo for being from Seattle yet not liking fish, and now I know why. It's because I am one! How could I eat my comrades in fins? This also explains my devastation over the loss of a certain gilled friend (see below).
What I really want to know, though, is where the split is. I mean, do I split between fish and female right down the middle, or is it at my waist? Or is the split more of a random act of nature, taking one arm here and both lungs there? Actually, we can be pretty sure both lungs are human, as I have little-to-no trouble breathing on land. So maybe it is more of an inner nature thing. I have the body of a human, but the soul of a fish. I can walk on two legs, but I have an eternal craving for the ocean and krill.
Hmmm. That doesn't sound right either. Oh well.
1 comment:
You crave krill? hmmm for someone who hates fish you are an odd one :P
I must admit this made me smile. HOWEVER, my tardo phone is broken... so i no longer have proof that you are indeed a fish.
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